Patience

It isn't one of my strengths. Never has been.
I have tried to work on it...but I just don't have the, well...patience.

Vicious cycle is what they call it.

I can sit quiet for long periods of time. I can focus when I want to on books, or projects at work or video games. But that isn't really patience.

It is when I want something so bad I can feel it in your bones but something or someone is standing in my way that I cannot do anything about and I just have to wait for it to move or be moved to act, that is when I go crazy.

I don't show my crazy. I hide it, mostly.

When I want something, I want it now. Not tomorrow, not in a few hours, not in 5 mins. NOW! And I will do as much as I can within legal and ethical reason to get what I want. (Well, I suppose the ethics are up to each person.)

Today, I want something. I want it so badly I can taste it. I have worked so damn hard to get it. It is like playing that damn claw game where you work so hard, you gauge all of the variables, and you are on your last quarter. There is a HUGE stuffed animal in your grasp but you have not quite made it to the drop box...and suddenly someone else has control of the claw...

Somebody else is controlling if you get what you worked so hard for, if you get what you have paid your dues for...

In my head, I am screaming...

PATIENCE!!!

Large and In charge

It is a daily struggle. Sit on my ass and play video games or walk outside in the heat. I was doing so good but I have kinda lost my will lately. I will find it again...tomorrow...I swear it.

I don't feel so in charge right now, only large...

chillin on the couch

This is a tiny blog about how good life can be when you can focus on the simple things.


Coffee
TV in the background
Cat on the armrest
Two computers
Two laps
Laughter about facebook comments
Laughter about funny headlines
Emails from work that can be delegated
Good responses to classwork

It is a good night. A simple every night type of night. But it feels like something was accomplished by just chillin on the couch

Who says this stuff?

A classmate in my current online course used the word "tard" to refer to someone who was inept at using technology. It was an obvious suggestion that only a retard or tard would not understand technology.

I am not a hyper sensitive PC person, but it really pissed me off. So I wrote a individual email to him...

"Hello,

I found your usage of the word "tard" to be very offensive. I normally do not go all PC on people but it just seems highly inappropriate for the setting we are in. I happen to have a nephew that is mentally and physically disabled. In another time he would have been called a retard and I suspect that when he gets to school age he will be called the word that you have so easily used.

It is a tough world, a world that needs much more compassion and much more thinking before speaking.

-Maggie"

Who says the word tard anyway? Wasn't that used in like 1990?

Idolize

I find it interesting to think about Christians influencing the American Idol vote.
I also find it interesting to read articles that claim the show is family friendly.

But lets talk about interest point one. American IDOL and Christians. American IDOL...Christians...IDOL...

CRASH! LIGHTNING BOLT!

You shall have no other gods before me, from Deuteronomy.

and check this out...

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God... (Exodus 20:3-5)

Eeek.

Christians be afraid you have now selected an IDOL.

But seriously, if the Christian base really did pool its resources and win the contest for Kris I have to wonder about their motives. Was it because they wanted a Christian to win or was it they wanted a pretty gay man to lose?

(They should have voted for the gay guy he is going to hell anyway. HA!)

Now point two. AI is family friendly, this was a given explanation for why Adam did not win.
AI...family friendly...AI...family friendly...AI...bikini...AI...boob job...AI...strip tease...AI...explotation...friendly...

It was just a wardrobe malfunction, really.

If the contest was won by homophobes, let them have it. IDOLATERS, I SAY!

Same old same old, talking out of both sides of the mouth...where the rules apply only when it is convenient.

Adam is better off not singing that God-awful (yes, I said God-awful) song that NO ONE on the planet can possibly sing well except maybe Adam, who has God-given talent. ;)

Pounds of struggle

Here I go again.
I did it once before. Lost almost 70lbs. Gained most of it back. I stopped walking at the gym, started eating all the "bad" things again, drinking pop, etc.

This time my struggle is against being forced to take blood pressure medication. I refuse. So I must do something to control my love of crap food and my desire to sit on my ass.

Honestly, I missed walking. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I started again. All this week I have walked at least 20 mins, most days I have walked more than once.

I cut out real pop again and now I scoff at the idea of a cheeseburger from the glowing golden arches.

I walked to Starbucks for a coffee. It is about a mile there and back. The latte tastes so much sweeter (without sugar) because I know I did something to move to get it.

I bought a pedometer at the suggestion of a co-worker, she must know my love of numbers. There is something so easy to geekly love about seeing how many steps you have taken. It took me 2443 steps to get to my latte and back.

Let's see what I can "clock" tomorrow!