2 stars and a bad martini

to me, camping is a two-star hotel with bad room service and a lounge that cannot make a good martini. so sleeping outside in a tent is like transporting me to a deserted island where i have completely lost touch with all humanity. and humanity to me, in this instance, is not people. it is electricity, running water, wireless internet, a refrigerator, dishes in the cupboards, a bathroom with ONE toliet (that is mostly mine), a stove, laundry, my cats, a bed (not a bed that deflates overnight). and i like walls and a roof, the solid kind that keep out rain and keep in warmth.

it would be great if i had a personality that fit just grabing a few "essentials" like underwear and a sleeping bag. BUT I DON'T. i like creature comforts. i LOVE them in fact.

at some point a bit over a month ago, i lost my mind and said..."oh sure, i will go camping" it came out so easily just flowed off my lips like everything would be magically delicious. the trip has not even happened and i stutter over the word "ccaaaammmpinggg".

i am sure that i will have fun. i will find some way to find the best out of it all.

it is the prep-work and the idea of freezing my super-sized buns off that has me so filled with tension. the list of need to dos before friday seems to continue to grow and quite honestly my lack of enthusiasm for the whole idea is making me seriously drag my feet about getting said list accomplished.

we are brining tea-lights and pumpkins...oh fun. i will be taking those f-ing tea-lights and making a circle of warmth around me, f-ck the pumpkins. we are going hiking, boating...and i am sure other wonderful things that cause one to sweat and become rather smelly. MANDATORY SHOWERS for all campers in my tent, including the dog.

i want anne to have a good time, so i shall try to find my "brave" face, or at least hide my "this is complete craziness" face. didn't work so well last night when the nice person who let us borrow the tent said that it leaks and then anne said oh yeah we might have slight showers over the weekend.

who are these crazy a$$ people who actually enjoy this insanity. WHO ARE YOU?! obviously i am going with quite a few. my hope is that there will be another not so easily amused camper amongst us with whom i can bond and share my eminent pain and suffering. it does a body good to bitch.

if i make through friday night we will be lucky.

i will be sure to post more after the umm....happy event...be advised that the next version most likely will not be written for a younger audience...